How I Stopped Being a Victim by Ana Bokstrom

Today Ana decided she wanted to share a topic that is near and dear to her. She’s been on her soapbox (literally) about this for the last few weeks so we decided to give her the mic.

Most of us (if not all) have experienced some form of abuse in our childhood. Ana had a fairly traumatic childhood that she’s tired of talking about so you’ll have to listen if you want to know more but she struggled with feeling like a victim as a result. She eventually came to the realization that identifying herself as a victim did not serve her. As a matter of fact, it was directly responsible for her continuing experience of being victimized. This is her perspective on it:

“When we identify with being a victim we attract others who identify with the role of abuser. So, in a sense, the fact that we are abused is manifested from our identification with the role. If we let go of our identification with that energy, we stop attracting abusers. They may continue in their pattern, but they will be attracted to someone else who identifies with being a victim… until THEY no longer identify with the role.

This allowed me to forgive those who played the abuser role in my particular drama. In a sense, there is no real right or wrong but two sides of a coin… as in everything. Up, down – yin, yang – black, white… everything matched to it’s opposite.

When I had this insight, it immediately freed from my “poor me” feelings. I have spent the last 20 years exploring the subtleties of this insight and it has been profoundly powerful in assisting me with my healing process.”