We came across a really profound article that spoke to all of us in different ways and we just felt the need to share. If you can resonate at all with the title of this show please take the time to read it. I guarantee that it will give you some insights into your own behaviours and relationships. It was written by Shari Schreiber and was posted on her website http://www.gettinbetter.com/.

Here is the first paragraph just to get you interested:  “How often have you heard yourself say, “I’m a giver, not a taker”? Have you experienced discomfort when receiving something from another~ whether it’s a gift, a compliment or a kind gesture? Have you ever known what it feels like to be in a reciprocal relationship? If these questions trigger memories of awkward, familiar sensations, it means you were programmed as a small child to believe that receiving vital supplies of attention, affection and emotional support came at a substantial cost to your parent(s). Very young, you learned to accommodate and normalize these painful deficits and started putting the needs of others ahead of your own, because doing otherwise meant you’d have to endure feelings of guilt or shame.”

Since the three of us have all shared plenty of our own personal lives and weren’t in the mood for another tell all (see smiley face here), we asked a friend named Selena if she’d be willing to be the guinea pig/subject as we delved into this topic. We had a good reason for picking Selena …  Here’s how she describes herself: “Selena Murillo, Soul Alchemist and F’Empowerment guide, holds a passionate commitment to the Empowerment of the Feminine. She has been certified as an Executive Coach and facilitator of Emotional Intelligence (EQi), empowering women entrepreneurs and creatives to embody their highest soul expression through the declaration and expansion of their soul’s calling. She is a practitioner in various modalities of the healing arts including Family of Origin Healing, Tibetan and Usui Reiki and has been guiding women on their journey to empowerment for over 20 years. As an intuitive and empath, Selena works with the alchemy of transformation, guiding women to shift and release unsupportive mindsets and programming, breaking through layers of limiting beliefs and moving them into the manifestation of unexpressed potential, purpose and unconditional Self-love.”

One of the “Needs” systems we talked about was Maslow’s:

If you want to delve in a little deeper yet, here’s some of the other articles we found:


Here’s a little excerpt from the Recovery Connection article:

Top Ten Questions to Ask About Codependent Behavior

  1. Do you avoid confrontation?
  2. Do you neglect your needs to attend to another’s first?
  3. Do you accept verbal or physical abuse by others?
  4. Do take responsibility for the actions of others?
  5. Do you feel shame when others make mistakes?
  6. Do you do more than your share at work, at home or in organizations?
  7. Do you ask for help?
  8. Do you need others’ validation to feel good about yourself?
  9. Do you think everyone’s feelings are more important than your own?
  10. Do you suffer from low self esteem?